| Sardar ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if
he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve
pieces." |
| Why do Sardars work seven days a week? So
you don’t have to re-train them on Monday. |
| Why can’t Sardars make ice cubes? They
always forget the recipe. |
| How did the Sardar try to kill the bird? He
threw it off a cliff. |
| What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to
ear? A wind tunnel. |
| What do you see when you look into a
Sardar’s eyes? The back of his head. |
| What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand
grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back. |
| What do you call a sardar who drinks only
beer? Just-beer Singh (‘T’ silent!). |
| What do you call a sardar who has only one
drink? Just-one Singh. |
| Why does Sardar always smile during lightning
storms? They think their picture is being taken. |
| Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written
on their shoes? Toes Go In First. |
| How can you tell when Sardar sends you a fax? It
has a stamp on it. |
| Why can’t Sardar dial 911? They can not
find the eleven on the phone |
| How do you get Sardar on the roof? Tell him
the drinks are on the house. |
| "Oh, look at the dead bird." Sardar
looked skyward and said "Where, Where? |
| What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common? You
always hear about them but you never see them. |
| Why does it take longer to build a Sardar
snowman as opposed to a regular one? You have to hollow out the head. |
| SARDAR’S BMW BMW cars were having back
mounted engines earlier. Sardar Hari Singh Purchased a new BMW and was driving back to
home very happily. On the way the car broke down. Sardarji came out of the car and opened
the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. Immediately began to sweat. By that time Sardar
Gani Singh came by that way and saw our sardarji, totally confused and sweating, trying to
search something inside the bonnet, and asked him what was the matter.
Hari Singh: "The BMW people made me fool. They have given me the Car without the
engine."
Gani Singh: "Don’t worry. I have spare engine in the back of my BMW. You can
take that." |
| TO LOOSE WEIGHT... The doctor told Sardarji
that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of
300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a
problem.
"What’s the problem?"asked the doctor.
"I’m 2400 kms from home." |
| SPARE BOMB Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh
got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They took 2 bombs,
put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off.
Hari Singh asks "What happens if the bombs blast off now".
Gani Singh says "Don’t worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat" |
| COUNT THE CHICKEN Sardars Hari Singh and
Gani Singh walked toward each other on a country road. Hari Singh carried a burlap bag
over his shoulder.
"Hey Bhai," Gani Singh drawled, "what’s in the bag?"
"Chickens," was the reply.
"If I guess how many, can I have one?"
"You can have both of them."
"OK, Five?" |
| ANOTHER COUNT! Our Sardar is walking down
the street and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling "86, 86,
86". He asks the man, "Excuse me, but why are you jumping up and down on this
manhole cover and yelling ‘86, 86, 86’?" The man says, "Well, I
can’t tell you that, but if you really want to know, I can let you go under there and
find out. He thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of him, and he says,
"Okay." The man lifts the manhole cover, He steps into the manhole, and the man
puts the manhole cover back and starts jumping up and down on it yelling "87, 87,
87"... |
| EMPLOYMENT? Our sardarji was filling up an
application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.
Then he came to the column Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled
there. After much thought he wrote : Yes |
| AT INDO-PAK WAR Once in the Indo Pakistan
war, Pakistan was fighting fiercely and capturing everything in sight. A sikh camp called
Gurudwara hideout was crucial to defend from the pakistanis as it contained all the
defence secrets. The pakistani forces surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that
they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of the bushes jumps Cptn. Hari Singh wearing a
Maachar dani! (mosquito net) He Pulls out his AK-47 rifle and fires like mad. The
pakistanis run off quickly. The next day Hari Singh gets a medal. His freinds ask him
"Yaar thu maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?" Hari Singh replies"Maachar
daani itni patli hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se ghussenghi?
In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son Gani Singh (No Assumptions Please!)
joins the army. Pakistanis are again surrounding the Gurudwara hideout, the sikhs again
think they’ve lost the war but out of the bushes erupts Gani Singh wearning nothing
he tries do shoo away the pakistanis like his father did but instead gets shot. In the
hospital his friends tell him "aare yaar, therre bap me tho itni akal thi ki vo
maachar daani pehin ke gaya tha, aur tu nunga chale gaya"
Gani Singh replies "aare yaar main tho odomos lage ke gaya tha"! |
| HEIGHTS OF REVENGE Talking about those days
when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was
also experiencing the same every time he tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs
his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn." He gets very irritated. He tries to
cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the
mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take
revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete
so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands.
So he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn." |
| DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE Santa Singh and
Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa
Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He
met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to
death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck’s goin’ on? Why are you so
scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?" Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but
you’ve got a *driver.* " |
| CHANDIGARH OR JALANDHAR sardar was going to
Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the
3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side
seat which was actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested
the sardarji to leave the side seat. But the sardaji told: "I want to see the view
from the window and shall not leave". The old lady then complained to the air
hostess. The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat. But sardarji
was adament and did not leave. Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt. He also
came and requested, but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the
ears of the sardarji, and the sardarji immedietly left theside seat and returned to the
middle seat. Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt. what he told
to the sardarji. Capt. replied: "nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats
will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar." |
| SARDAR THIEF Santa Singh was shifting his
residence. He was packing his belongings. By midnight he was too tired and dozed off with
the house door open. A sound woke him up. A thief was packing valuables. Banta Singh found
it very amusing; the thief was doing the job for him! "When this smart guy finishes
packing, I will catch him". Banta was a hefty guy; so when the burglar finished
packing, Banta Singh jumped on him and tied him up. Then he went to the police station and
reported the matter.
"What did you do to the thief"?
"I tied his hands; you come and collect him".
"I hope you tied his legs too".
Banta Singh felt a cold feeling in his spine; he had forgotten about the legs. He sat
down for a while. Then he cheered up and said, "Inspector Sab, the thief, he will
still be there".
"How do you know"?
"Well, that fellow is also a Sardarji". |
| PROFESSOR SARDAR Sardar Singh was very keen
on doing his Ph.D. He was in search of a subject on which no one did any research before!
As he was thinking over it, he found a cockroach on the table in from of him. He decided
instantly to do a research on the roach. He picked the roach and put it in the centre of
the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. He pulled out one leg of the roach,
put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The roach ran. He
pulled one more leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the table and said:
"Run". The roach ran.This way the roach tried to run even when it had just one
leg. He pulled last leg of the roach, put it again in the centre of the table and said:
"Run". The roach could not! Our Professor was satisfied with his study and
started writing his thesis: "When you pull out all the legs of a roach, it cannot
hear anymore". |
| COLOR TV Sardarji is buying a TV.
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please." |
| CROCODILE BOOTS Sardarji proposes to a
woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and
disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him
killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims
"71st and *again* barefeet!" |
| LONG FLIGHT Sardarji calls Air India.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
" Just a sec," comes an answer
"Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up! |
| TRAIN TO LUDHIANA Sardars Hari Singh and
Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh. |
